Muffy and Francine

Featured Image: A guest ziplining at the Silver Jungle Resort

31 January 2018, Silver Jungle Resort, Sarapiquí River, Costa Rica – Muffy the Hamster and Francine the Cow have always been close friends. Francine is a cow of humble origin, having been a cow for an Oregon dairy farm for several years. Muffy, on the other hand, was born into a rich family of hamsters. Muffy’s mother owns a watchmaking business, whilst Muffy’s father owns resorts in Hawaii, the Caribbean, and Central America, including the Costa Rican ziplining resort where this story takes place.

The Silver Jungle Resort is a riverside resort located along the Sarapiquí River in Costa Rica, a wide, rock filled river with a powerful current. The resort includes infinity pools and hot tubs, treehouse-style luxury suites with mosquito nets and jungle views, exotic restaurants and lounges, and, most importantly, a jungle zipline over the river. Most guests are at the resort to go ziplining there, and the zipline is what the Silver Jungle Resort is best known for.

But back to Muffy and Francine. As a gesture of kindness, Muffy invited Francine to the Silver Jungle Resort at no cost to Francine. Francine was unwilling to go, but she went anyway, as she wanted to be nice to Muffy, and, it was a pretty sweet deal anyway.

Francine and Muffy arrived at the resort by way of Muffy’s father’s private jet. When they arrived, Francine was welcomed by Muffy’s dad, who gave her a tour of the resort and introduced her to the riverside penthouse that she would be staying in. The penthouse was actually Muffy’s, but it was given to Francine for the duration of the trip.

Muffy’s dad gave both Francine and Muffy one important warning: Francine will not be allowed to go on the zipline, as the zipline is unable to support Francine’s 635 kg (1,400 lb) weight. As we will find out later, Muffy did not listen to this warning.

Francine became obsessed with the penthouse’s infinity pool, spending the entire rest of the day there. Muffy tried to convince her to come out of her penthouse and play at the resort’s tennis courts, but Francine refused. Eventually, Muffy got tired of Francine’s laziness, and resorted to breaking the rules in order to convince her to actually do something at the resort.

Image result for infinity pool jungle view

Francine’s penthouse infinity pool, Silver Jungle Resort, Costa Rica

The next morning, Muffy invited Francine to go on the resort zipline, despite the fact that her dad specifically barred Francine from using it. She was able to convince Francine because she invited her to do it at 9 AM even though the zipline didn’t open until 10 AM. This was an advantage because there were always long lines to go ziplining at the resort. Francine agreed, and the two met up at the zipline at 8:45.

Muffy had already prepared a custom zipline specifically for Francine, so she was able to put the harness on Francine in minutes. After everything was all well and good (if you ignore the fact that Francine was too heavy for the zipline and she was almost certainly going to die), Muffy let her loose. After Francine stepped off the platform, she got stuck. Muffy gave the zipline a hard jerk, and she was let loose.

During the approach to the Sarapiquí River, Muffy was beginning to notice that the wire was about to give out. She panicked and tried to stop the zipline, but it was already too late. As Francine was crossing the Sarapiquí River, the harness and the zipline cord gave way, resulting in Francine falling 50 m (164 ft) into the river. Francine got stuck in the rocks, and it didn’t take long for her to drown amidst a torrent of unrelenting waves.

After Francine’s drowning, Muffy decided to hide it from her father. When Muffy’s dad asked about the whereabouts of Francine at lunch that day, Muffy claimed that Francine decided not to show up for lunch and stay in her penthouse instead. Hours later, a resort guest discovered Francine’s body washed up along the riverbank, and immediately reported it to resort management. Not long after, word had officially got out about Francine’s untimely demise.

Francine’s family and her dairy farm sued Muffy’s family and the Silver Jungle Resort for involuntary manslaughter and won, resulting in the defendants paying upwards of $2 million to the plaintiffs. The zipline at the Silver Jungle Resort was closed in response to the incident, resulting in massive losses of business as well as Muffy getting banned from ever visiting the resort again.

Moral: Never let cattle go ziplining

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